JB Southkey Oasis: 2 Queen Beds, Unforgettable Johor Bahru Stay!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the deep end of a review of… JB Southkey Oasis: 2 Queen Beds, Unforgettable Johor Bahru Stay! This isn't your average hotel review; we're going full-on, unfiltered, tell-it-like-it-is. Prepare to have your expectations… well, adjusted.
Let’s start with the stuff that actually matters, aka, the "getting there and staying sane" bits.
Accessibility: Okay, so, straight up - this place is… mixed. I'm talking like, "I'm gonna wear a mask and hope for the best" mixed. They (seemingly, I didn't specifically test every single thing, mind you, I ain't got all day!) offer some Facilities for disabled guests. Wheelchair accessible is listed, but that's a broad stroke. You really need to double-check and triple-check if accessibility is a BIG deal for you. Seriously. Don't just assume "accessible" means "easy peasy." Call them. Ask them if the elevators are reliable (I hate elevators, my stomach churns, I hate elevators, I hate elevators). Check the width of the doors to the On-site accessible restaurants / lounges (more on that later, because, food). Exterior corridor rooms? Potentially good for accessibility, but also potentially… less secure feeling? Depends on your vibe. Elevator is listed too. So, yeah. Mixed bag. Do your homework!
Cleanliness & Safety: The "Did I Survive the Night?" Factor
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Nice.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Good.
- Hand sanitizer: Thank GOD. Everywhere.
- Hygiene certification: Hopefully, it’s not just a piece of paper.
- Individually-wrapped food options: Okay, still. Fine.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Good luck during breakfast.
- Professional-grade sanitizing services: Fingers crossed.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Interesting. I didn't opt-out, but I like that they give you the choice.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: The base expectation, frankly.
- Safe dining setup: Necessary!
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Let’s hope they remember the protocol.
- CCTV in common areas/outside property: Makes me feel marginally better.
- Fire extinguisher, Smoke alarms, etc.: Okay, this should be everywhere. Essential.
My Brain Starts To Wander… Okay, real talk, the whole safety thing just makes you think. We’ve all been through the pandemic. I think about it… a lot. And I'm also a person who has a small panic attack whenever they don't see a fire extinguisher. Am I paranoid? Maybe. Is it a good thing to have the basics covered? Absolutely. Good job, Southkey Oasis!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: The Food Fight
Okay, this is where things get exciting. Or, possibly, disastrous. The sheer volume of options is almost overwhelming.
- Restaurants: Plural! This is promising.
- Asian breakfast: A must.
- Asian cuisine in restaurant: Double must
- Breakfast [buffet]: Standard.
- Breakfast service: Essential.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop: YES. Cannot function without caffeine.
- Poolside bar: If there's no poolside bar, I riot.
- Room service [24-hour]: Okay, cool. Midnight cravings, here I come.
- Vegetarian restaurant: Good for the planet, and probably me too, at least sometimes.
Alright, the Experience… It’s not a review without anecdotes, right?
Okay, so the first time I went for the breakfast buffet… the vibe was… let's say, "energetic." Picture a group of hungry folks, armed with plates, circling the food like vultures. I swear I saw a dude scooping scrambled eggs onto his plate with a soup spoon. I watched the scrambled egg scoop, wide-eyed, for a full thirty seconds. The food itself was… adequate. Not Michelin-starred, but also, I didn’t get sick. So, win?
The Poolside Bar… The Great Escape (or, the Soggy Phone Incident)
The pool! I love a good pool! The Pool with view is an attractive prospect. Now, the Poolside bar. Ah, yes. Sun, water, cocktails… blissful, right? Well, almost. I got there, ordered a very promising looking cocktail, took a picture for the insta, and clumsy me, dropped my phone straight into the pool. It was an experience. I now have a lovely brick of a phone. Moral of the story? Don't be like me. Be careful around pools. And maybe reconsider taking your phone anywhere near water, I hate the water.
Things to do, Ways to Relax: Spa Day Dreams… and Gym Nightmares
Alright, let's talk about the indulgent stuff. Or, the stuff that should be indulgent.
- Body scrub, Body wrap, Massage, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Sauna: These are a must in my personal definition of RELAX.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: I should use these, but… will I? Probably not. I will stare at them longingly, but then eat dessert.
- Swimming pool [outdoor]
The Spa: My Moment of Zen… Interrupted By Bubbles
I hit the spa. The Body wrap was… okay. My therapist was lovely. The massage was… standard. But then, in the Sauna: I was feeling good. Then, the steamroom… so steamy. Then… I got trapped. And for someone like me, who HATES being trapped, this was a bit of a disaster. Thank GOD I brought my water bottle. Thank GOD. I got out, eventually. And had a nap.
Rooms: The Sanctuary (or the Not Surprisingly Standard)
- 2 Queen Beds! Okay, great for families or for being an unrepentant bed-hog.
- Air conditioning: Essential in Johor Bahru.
- Coffee/tea maker: Thank GOD.
- Daily housekeeping: Yay for clean!
- Free Wi-Fi: Bless.
- Good to have: In-room safe box, Mini bar, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Slippers.
- Window that opens: Sometimes you just need a breeze, am I right?
Fine, The Honest Stuff:
- Cleanliness: generally good, but I noticed a few… let's just say, "minor" imperfections.
- Staff: Mostly helpful, but sometimes they seemed a bit… disengaged. The lovely therapist more than made up.
- Overall Vibe: It’s a hotel. It’s comfortable. It gets the job done. Don't expect the Ritz Carlton, but if you're looking for a decent place to crash in Johor Bahru, it's… fine.
Services and Conveniences: The "Things That Save Your Sanity" category
- Air conditioning in public area, Air conditioning: Important.
- Concierge: Makes my life easier.
- Daily housekeeping: Yay for clean.
- Elevator: Thank heavens.
- Ironing service, Laundry service: Thank GOD.
- Luggage storage: Always useful.
- Safety deposit boxes: Good to have.
- Wi-Fi for special events: I would hope for this.
- Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site]: Another win.
- Cash withdrawal, Currency exchange Always a good option.
- Doctor/nurse on call: Just in case you get trapped in the sauna.
- Food delivery: Helpful.
- 24 hour front desk: Again, ALWAYS helpful.
For the Kids:
- Family/child friendly: Okay.
- Babysitting service: If it's available.
- Kids meal: I cannot have a child, but this is a good option.
Getting Around:
- Airport transfer: Great.
- Car park [free of charge]: Winning.
- Taxi service: Always a plus.
The Verdict: Should You Book It?
Look, JB Southkey Oasis is a perfectly decent hotel. It has its quirks, its flaws, and… well, the food sometimes leaves something to be desired (but hey, there's a lot more great food in Johor Bahru itself! You should explore. Get out there!) Would I say it's "unforgettable?" Maybe not. But it's certainly… memorable. It's got the essentials, some nice-to
Luxor Buenos Aires: Argentina's Most Luxurious Hotel? (You Won't Believe This!)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's itinerary. This is my attempt at surviving Johor Bahru, starting from the supposed lap of luxury at the Southkey Mosaic Midvalley hotel. And let me tell you, I'm already bracing myself for the inevitable… chaos.
JB Southkey Mosaic Midvalley: A Love-Hate Kind of Beginning (or, "Where's the freaking coffee?")
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Hotel Hunt (and the Questionable Smell)
- 14:00: Arrive at Senai International Airport (JHB). So, the flight was fine, you know? Typical cramped seating, my neighbor's snoring symphony, that kind of ordeal. But hey, we landed, and that's a win! Now, the real adventure: finding a taxi that doesn't look like it's about to fall apart.
- 15:00: Arrive at Southkey Mosaic Midvalley. First impressions? Hmm. The lobby is impressive, I'll give 'em that. Gleaming marble, chandeliers that scream “I have money!”, but then… is that a faint, eau de moldy air conditioning? God, I hope that goes away.
- 15:30: Check-in. The struggle is real. Lines, forms, the lovely hotel staff (who I'm sure are lovely) are barely understandable, and it takes forever. Finally, the key! And… a room with a view? A view of another building. Sigh.
- 16:00: Room Inspection: So, two queen beds. Okay, fine. The aircon smells a bit funky. The bathroom? Yep, definitely a hint of whatever this place is trying to mask. I’m starting to wonder if this hotel is secretly haunted by dampness. And where’s the bloody coffee machine?! I need caffeine, people! Need it!
- 17:00: Exploring the hotel. Tried to find a decent coffee shop. Nope. Ended up in the hotel’s "coffee shop". They offer some terrible instant coffee. I found a little convenience store. Now I am fully stocked.
- 18:00: Unpack, regroup. Stare out the window in general desperation. Maybe this will be fine. Maybe I'll survive JB. Maybe… I should order a pizza.
- 19:00: Dinner. I decided to eat at the hotel. The restaurant is okay, nothing to get excited about. It's really lacking a certain "je ne sais quoi."
- 20:00: Collapse on the bed and watch random television. My brain is mush, but I'm surprisingly okay with it.
Day 2: Retail Therapy and a Quest for Authentic Eats (or, "Lost in the Bazaar, Found in a Laksa Pot")
- 09:00: Wake up. No, the air still smells a bit off. Coffee, finally, out of the convenience store. It's brown, and it wakes me up. Success!
- 10:00: A taxi to the Midvalley Southkey Megamall. This place is massive! I'm talking endless rows of shops, a food court that could house a small army, and a level of air conditioning that could chill polar bears to a coma. Seriously, bring a jacket.
- 11:00: Shopping! My god, the bargains! I got distracted by the sheer quantity of… stuff. Lost track of time and money. Spent way more than I intended on some quirky t-shirts and a handbag that I probably don't need. My wallet hates me, but my inner magpie is thrilled.
- 13:00: Lunch at the food court. The chaos is glorious. Every possible cuisine is represented. Took a risk and ordered something that looked vaguely like noodles. A bit spicy, a bit mysterious, but mostly delicious. This is the real deal, I can feel it.
- 14:00: More shopping. It's starting to become a blur of brightly colored fabrics, aggressive salespeople, and the overwhelming scent of… something. I can’t quite place it. Sweet and… spicy.
- 16:00: The quest continues! I needed to try some authentic Malaysian food! I found a tiny stall that served Laksa, and oh my god, it was an explosion of flavor. That soup! The noodles! The chili! I almost cried. It was the best thing in the world. And, because I'm a bit of a klutz, I inevitably splashed some down my shirt.
- 17:00: Exhausted, over-stimulated, covered in Laksa sauce. I decide to head back to the hotel.
- 18:00: Back at the hotel: nap time.
- 19:00: Dinner nearby. No, the hotel’s restaurant again, because I don’t actually want to leave. I am still recovering from the mall.
Day 3: Culture, Coffee, and the Pending Doom of Checkout (or, "Will I Ever Escape This Hotel?")
- 09:00: Awake. Breathe. Air smells better. Coffee, but now out of my trusty travel mug that I purchased at a stall in the mall.
- 10:00: I've decided to go to the Istana Bukit Serene (Sultan's Palace) and Sultan Abu Bakar State Mosque. It's what tourists do, right? And, I actually wanted to.
11:00: The Palace. It's beautiful, of course, and the gardens are meticulously maintained. It’s just… overwhelming. I'm sweating. The sun is beating down. I feel like a wilting flower that is about to be turned into a salad.
12:00: Lunch. Nothing fancy today, just a quick and dirty order from the food court.
13:00: And now for the mosque. This place is gorgeous. The level of detail, the architectural flourishes… it’s stunning. It reminded me of my desire to become a better person. And also, I need a nap.
15:00: Back to the hotel. Exhausted, but feeling like I at least tried to be a cultural tourist.
16:00: Now I am trying to sort out the checkout. Will it be hell? Probably.
17:00: Checkout. Yes, it was. But I survived!
18:00: Dinner. I have a flight to catch, so I decide to get something at the airport.
- 19:00: Head for the airport.
- 20:00: Arrive at the airport.
- 21:00: Fly home. Praise be to God!
Post-JB Reflection (or, "Did I Actually Enjoy Myself?")
So, did I love Johor Bahru? Parts of it, definitely. That Laksa was a revelation. The shopping was an adventure. The hotel, well, it was… an experience. Would I go back? Maybe. With a better air freshener, and perhaps a hazmat suit. But hey, at least I survived. And that, my friends, is a victory in itself. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a long, hot shower. And maybe, just maybe, a therapist.
Shanghai Gardenview Hotel: Unforgettable Luxury Awaits!
So, what *IS* this whole thing about? Let's just get THAT out of the way.
Alright, alright, I get it. You want the *gist*. Fine. Think of it like... a very, VERY public therapy session. Except instead of me (and maybe YOU) talking about your feelings, we're talking about... well, the stuff that's been on my mind lately. Anything from the existential dread of folding laundry to the sheer JOY of a perfect pizza. It’s essentially me spewing my unfiltered thoughts into a structured format. Get ready for a rollercoaster, because my internal monologue isn’t exactly a well-oiled machine.
Why did *YOU* decide to do this? Seriously, what was the motivation?
Um... honestly? I think I was bored. Like, *deeply* bored. And also, slightly terrified of the potential for actual human interaction. This felt… safer. I'm telling you, the thought of *real* conversations with *real* people... *shudders*. Anyway, I figured, hey, if I'm thinking these things anyway, might as well unleash them on the unsuspecting interwebs. Also, I secretly yearn for validation. Don't judge me! We're all a little… *vulnerable* here, aren't we?
Okay, Okay, but what KIND of things are we *actually* talking about? Like, give me a CLUE.
Oh, the *things*. Buckle up, buttercup, because we’re going everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Seriously, one minute I might be pontificating about the meaning of life (spoiler alert: it's probably just pizza) and the next I'll be obsessing over the best way to organize my sock drawer. It's a journey. A messy, glorious, often confusing journey. Expect observations, complaints, moments of pure, unadulterated joy, and maybe... just maybe... some actual insights. Don't hold your breath on that last one, though. My attention span is legendary (in my own mind, at least).
Will this be *helpful*? Like, will I learn anything?
Helpful? *Helpful*? Look, if you're looking for practical life advice, go read a self-help book. Or, better yet, ask your grandma. She probably has a better handle on things than I do. Frankly, I'm surprised *I* manage to put on pants some days. What you *might* get is a little... perspective? Maybe a chuckle or two at my expense. But mostly, you're gonna get a glimpse into the inner workings of a slightly unhinged mind. So, decide for yourself if that's 'helpful' or not. I'm not promising miracles here.
Are you always this... *opinionated*?
YES. Absolutely. It's a curse, really. I have opinions on *everything*. The optimal temperature for coffee (scalding, obviously). The correct way to load a dishwasher (it's a science, people!). The utter blasphemy of pineapple on pizza (I'm looking at YOU, world!). I can't help it. It's like a brain tick. So, if you disagree with me, prepare to be… well… ignored. Just kidding (mostly). Bring on the debate! Or don't. I'll probably just keep talking anyway.
So, any specific embarrassing experiences? You know, the kind for sharing.
EMBARRASSING experiences? Oh, darling, where do I even begin? Let's see... There was the time I tripped and fell flat on my face *in front of the entire grocery store*, sending oranges scattering everywhere. Yeah. That was a highlight. And then there was the incident involving a karaoke machine, a questionable rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody", and an audience of judgmental teenagers. (Turns out, I can't hit the high notes. Who knew?) The absolute WORST, though? Okay, I can’t keep it in any longer – the thing with the pigeon. I was walking to work, enjoying a particularly sunny day, when BAM! A pigeon. A HUGE, aggressive pigeon. It swooped down, and... well, picture this: me, screaming, flailing, and somehow *accidentally kicking a trash can* that then proceeded to tip over, spilling its contents everywhere. People were staring. I wanted the earth to swallow me whole. The pigeon? It just stared at me, as if to say, "Get a grip, lady." I think about that pigeon *every single day*.
But like, what if I disagree with you? Or... you know, get bored?!
Disagree? Get bored? Oh, the HORROR! I mean... look, it's fine. Really. Disagreement is the spice of life, or whatever. If you get bored, then... wander off! No feelings will be hurt. I'll probably be too busy rambling about something completely irrelevant to notice. Just please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t start yelling at your screen. Unless you're yelling at the pigeon. I get that. Just… be kind. (To the pigeon, too, probably.)
Okay, let's get real. What's the *worst* part about all this?
The worst part? Oh, without a doubt, it's the potential for… everything. The potential for someone to actually read this. The potential for someone to *dislike* it. The potential for someone to… *understand* it. (That, admittedly, would freak me out a little.) Honestly, the vulnerability is KILLING ME. But also? The typing. My fingers. They’re starting to ache. And what if I run out of things to say? What if I just… dry up? *shudders* I'm already feeling it. I'm turning into a rambling, self-doubting mess. See? This is precisely why I shouldn't be doing this.
Fine, last question. Why should I bother at all?
Oh, you shouldn't. Really. Unless you have a perverse fascination with the inner workings of a slightly chaotic mind. Unless you enjoy a good rant. Unless you’re just… bored. Then… well, welcome aboard. It's a wild ride. And who knows? Maybe we'll accidentally stumble upon something profound. Or at least, get a good laugh at my expense. Either way, I'm going to need aThe Stay Journey
